Aliens

They're out there. They are. I could scare you and make you wet your pants with how much I know about aliens. They can go through tine foil, don't bother. Their attracted to Americans more than any other type of Humans. They don't come for brains. It all sounds so crazy- It sounds cheesy- It sounds like a lie. But it actually might be true. My theory is that the aliens use penguins. That's where my email address came from. So when they come and take our memories, that will be there. I was eating those letter mellows- the marshmallows shaped like letters- and i spilled the bag on my black binder. The letters spelt: One by one the penguins steal my sanity. The lines were jumbled and some of the other letters got on the way so it really read: One J By The one G penguins My steal kog sanity. So I took the extra letters off and laid them on a black shirt. I snapped a couple photos.Other websites took a hold of it.

Don't you hate it when....

I really hate some things.

Whats on my nerve now? I hate it when I can't finish my ice cream. So I stick it in the freezer to save. Later I'm hungry, I pull the ice cream out of the fridge and- two giant finger marks are in my ice cream. Someone dug their nasty little fingers in my food, and LEFT IT IN THE FRIDGE!!!!!! I pound a round the house. Guess who's licking their fingers clean? My stupid brother. Now he's gonna get strep throat.

Camware.

My website is very high tech and researches have found a way to take a picture while you are on speical websites. Mine was chosen! It is called Camware. You write a comment or send an email (penguinz838@aol.com ) and when I open it , I send it to the researchers. They devolp it and send the picture to me. Then I send it to you. So heres what you do:

1. send a comment/email saying," This is ___________. I want to try camware.And this is my email _______"

2.I will send an email describing some details.

3. Open a reply email.

4. Write the secret code I give you on top and smile at it for 20 secounds.

5.send it to me, I send it to the researches, The researchers send the devoped picture to me.

6. I send the picture to you.

7. you print it out (optional) and enjoy it forever.

Jokes! (edition 1 and 2)

These are some really funny jokes!

Riley Jean:Whats brown, covered in oranges, and lyes in a ditch?
Wednesday:A boy scout hit by a car.
Riley Jean: Whats red, covered in cookie crumbs, and can be found on the road?
Wednesday: Little red riding hood was hit by a car!

Say: I am Todd.
Say: I am a little Todd.
Say: I am a little wee Todd.
Say: I am a wee Todd.
Say: I am Willy a wee Todd.

Fashion Monkey (edition 2)

Our old Fashion monkey (her name was Fashion monkey) has quit and joined her brother in show biz.

So we hired a new Fashion monkey named Mookey (moo-key).She knows sign language so we translated it into English.

"Well,in the make up section... I like soft pink nail polish. But that was so last summer. Since its October, black and dark purple work. Put your hair in a messy bun with a slender hair grip. Dazzle your lips with cherry,strawberry,raspberry,lemon, or kiwi lip gloss /chap stick. Um.. Jeans with patches and rips. Shirts with name logos (abercrombie, old navy or gap are the best)" Says Mookey. We haven't received any replies or comments to add to this fabulous list. Next time, we will give Mookey an interview.

Online Life (updated)

It is a game of replying emails. It's hard to explain. The game first welcomes you and has you take a personality test (you will need an email address) and then there will be a few sentences and a question. In the few sentances is a fake life you can have online. Here is a sample:

penguinz838@aol.com (peng for short. Remember each line is a new email): You watch a TV show and you go to bed. And of course you Obviosly like to stay up. Your mom and dad come into your room and think your sick. The truth is you are texing a distance friend. What will you tell them?

Maranda101112@yahoo.com (Mara): That I am worried about my upcoming 6th grade grades so I want to sleep early.

Peng: Your parents leave and you text through the night. You do this for several nights and your grades tindle downwards. They get suspiscios. Should you tell the truth, stop texting or other?

Mara: I will just stop texting and they won't even find out.

Peng: The texting stops and your distant friend, Molly, won't dare to call you. She feels bad she isn't recieving anything from you. So since Molly won't talk to you, you don't even bother. Its almost time for school. You just can't wait for school because then you can meet back with Judy. Your mom, Jenna Colby, gets the mail and starts squeling. "Karen, you'll like this." she hands you the letter. It has a list of classmates. On the top of the list is Judy Ably. You scroll your eyes down to the end of the letter. "and welcome our new student-
Molly Yenen." you read a loud.

Mara: I pretend to be happy but now Molly hates me. I need a hint to help.

Peng: The rules state you can use one hint a month. You must wait till November to use another hint. But last Month, you didn't use your hint. So you can get two hints this month. You wrote-"I pretend to be happy but now Molly hates me. I need a hint to help" And from another player who has gone through the game gives you a hint "I had a friend named Anna who fought with me. I ignored Anna and by the end of the year, we forgot we even fought. So during the summer we were really tight friends.-Jolee"

Mara: I will ignore Molly.

Peng: You go school shoping. There is a sale on some school themes items. You can buy Unicorn theme, Sock Monkey theme, Parrot theme, Rubber duck theme, and rainbow theme. Your five year old sister takes the last Sock Monkey theme school stuff. You wanted that pack really bad. Your mom says," Let Nettie take that package. You always liked duckies- Why don't you take that?" You stare at the rac of school supplies. "If you don't choose quick I'll buy the duckies." What are you going to do?

Mara: Heck. I'll get the duck theme.

You get the picture?

Can you answer my question? (updated)

See if you can answer my questions write the question out and the answer if you send an email (penguinz838@aol.com )

Do even heroes have the right to bleed?

How come pizzas are round and come in square boxes?

If you are bald, do you use shampoo or soap on your head?

Who truly came first, the chicken or the egg?

Why do kids prefer boogers above meatloaf?

Who in the world isn't scared of the school lunch starring at you?

If a guy named Peter picked apples instead of peppers, would mother goose sue him?

If this was a longer list, who would bother reading my queston?

Forward Emails (edition 2 and 3)

The Magic Paint
Once there was a girl who lived on the edge of a hill, alone only with her mother. Her father was buried on the bottom of the hill. The girl could see it out from her bedroom window. Everyday, she put a new flower on the grave and removed the dead or brown ones. With all the wear of the sea (and the girl hugging it) The stone was worn and tough. It also was a depressing color. So the girl saved seven nickles. (may I remind you they are very poor) and decided to buy some paint for the stone. With her nickles jingle jangling in her pocket, she went to the hardware store. All they had that she could afford was a teeny tiny size can of ugly brown paint. She would never waste her money on an ugly thing so she searched the store. They let her have an old plastic bucket for a nickle,and some drips of white paint for a penny (so she got a palm size of white paint). She went to the restaurant and they gave her old vegetable oil for a nickle.She grabbed a slender stick off the ground and poured her ingredients into the plastic pail and gave it a good stir.
she put some salt in there and a pinch of tooth paste in. She stirred it all up, but it was nothing. So, she gave it a hug and painted the stone. The paint never dried, but by the next week, the stone was gone.Maybe the paint dissolved it. She didn't know. Now nobody would know who her dad was.She glumly came home, disappointed.And when she walked through the door, She found her father sitting on the couch, petting the cat.She gave him a big hug and hid the paint can under her bed.

Nightmare Paint (the sequel to magic Paint)

Sofi and her friend, Tommy, wandered around the old reck site that sat on the side of a hill. Tommy's dad was part of the constuction crew so they were allowed on the site. Earlier that day, Tommy and Sophie were digging for old toys and stuff when they came across an empty coffin. It was odd to bury an empy coffin. There wasn't even a grave stone. So Tommy's dad left to bring the coffin who knows where. Sofi suggested they should search the house for stuff. There was a couple bowls in the kitchen, "They're worthless," Tommy said,"They are plastic and they still make these bowls today. They're identicle to our dishes." So they wandered to the living room and didn't find anything. They walked into the bathroom and found an icky hairbrush. "Now THAT'S worthless," Sofi said loudly. She tossed it out the window. They went through the house an found a doll who was clearly named Kiki,It said so on her tag. Sofi cuddled the doll, it was in great shape. One room last, the small bedroom. Sofi walked in first and held her nose. "EEEWWW! It smells like rotten eggs." Sofi said in disgust. Tommy walked in and his nose became stuffed. Sofi's eyes watered. "Weye id's domin' brom?" asked Tommy. Sofi found the source. A rotten paint can. She picked it up and was ready to toss it. Then Tommy said urgently,"Don't toss it! That's old fashion paint." "Its still wet." Sofi said in amazment. Tommy's stuffed nose became unstuffed.He opened the window and let the smell go out. After a while, Sofi mumbled,"Man am I sleepy.It's probably the paint." Tommy took a whiff of the paint and fell asleep. Tommy's head danced with the paint. The paint can grew eyes (this of course, is a dream.) and legs and pinched Tommy. Tommy ran into an old house and a giant bowling ball smashed it to pieces. He woke up, terrified. At the same time, Sofi dreamt she was playing baseball. She hit the ball through a window of an old house. She went in to retrieve it, and the building collasped on her. She woke up terrified and Tommy was already up. They remembered they were going to tear down the building. Tommy grabbed the paint and the two got out of there. Then the workers knocked down the building.The next day, Sofi took the paint to her house and hid it in her play shed and soon forgot about the paint.

Break Me Up (edition 2)

Do you want a monthly subscription to Break me Up?
Send me an email (penguinz838@aol.com )
And spill the problem (one problem a month)
And you will have your own customised Break me Up Solution!


Everyone needs help breaking up.
I can be that help. If it's for revenge, not so good. If its a threat (Like my dear friend May Brown) make sure you don't like this person. Trust me, they'll hate you. I have a few conversations you can use.

The problem: Will Worm owes May Brown twenty dollars. Will has a girlfriend, Summer Mcnasty. Summer doesn't know May exists. May Brown has a friend, Oliva Green (another friend).

May: (calls Will) hey you owe me twenty bucks.
Will: So?
May: I have ways to ruin your life. (hangs up)

Say Will doesn't pay. So May calls Summer.

May: Hey- Is this ( romantically) Will?
Summer: No. this is Summer. Who is this?
May: I'm Oliva Green, Will's (romantically) Girlfriend.
Summer: no, I'm his girlfriend!
May: Well back off! (hang up)

Simple? If you have questions, email me at penguinz838@aol.com
or if you feel more comfortable, send a comment.

Monthly Advice (edition 2)

Need some fun advice? Send a comment to this post and I will answer it ASAP I've already recived a few....

I have terrible allergies, and I'm not the type to take medicine (yucky). I never have tissues on hand. What should I do? -Dani Schmieg

I myself have terrible allergies. I carry around tissues, they manage to save lives.I recomend using a hanky. You can tie 'round your waist or put it on Bandana style. When your done sneezing into it, keep it in your pocket or hand, unless you like green hair!! :-) Then bring it home and dump it in the wash.

I am a picky eater. I hate onions, and next Monday, We are going to Gramma's. I love my Gramma, but she puts ONIONS IN EVERYTHING! What can I do? -Madi Gregger

Well, I don't enjoy onions either. But it is very impolite to not eat your Gramma's onions. Madi, it might ease your stomach if you prepare the meal with you Gramma. I can always eat whatever I cook, even if it has a yucky taste. If you don't want to do that, rough it out or have an even harder talk to your Gramma. If you don't want to do either, I guess you'll starve! :-)

I recieved some more questions! So here they are!

Dear Monthly Advice,

I am a Cling on, I addmit it. I can't stand up for myself and I am always feeling awkward. They lock me out of the bathroom- I wanna cry! I have so many things to say, but I'd fry my computer with my tears. I don't need an answer, just some support. : (

I hate sad people! Brighten up! Everyone likes you and the only reason they lock you out is that they desperatly need attention or they want someone to laugh at. Let 'em laugh. Everybody needs a person to spill thier troubles on. God chose you to be that person, so do your best and deal with it. Heck, without you, the whole school might fall apart. So be happy now!

Cinnamon- a poem (By: Isabel edited by:Riley-Jean turner)

Cinnamon, a spice
That smells nice,
Spinkle on apple pie,

strudel too,
Have a bite, taste good?

I think so too.

Makes you cry,

makes you laugh,

makes you eat the whole pie and a half.

Stories (edition 2.5)

I had an awesome story and I found a really cool picture for it- but then- I pressed delete!!! Here's the picture anyway. :-(
I can't even load the picture :-(